Boycotting Mommy Wars Before You Join the Ranks

As a young married woman and soon-to-be mommy I notice a lot more about other families than I used to. I also see a lot of jazz on social media about “mommy wars” and “mommy judging” going on. Although I don’t have little ones of my own yet, I’ve already made the decision that I don’t want any part of that. There are so many great blogs out there that make a great point about (fill in the blank) and are so well written that they *must* be true.

It’s easy to look at other’s lives and assume that doing (fill in the blank) *must* be right because (fill in the blank) is working out fantastically for them. There are truckloads of great ideas and moms/parents are challenged to do all of them because it’s what’s *best* for their kiddies.

My skepticism isn’t founded in the fact that I think anyone and everyone are wrong—however I’m becoming cautious about what advice I’ll praise and what I won’t. Some things work out great for some families and are a disaster for others. Some tactics are perfectly fit for your child, but maybe they won’t work as well for someone else.

I’ve seen so many ideas that I can’t even remember them all (don’t worry, I’ve pinned them for later). But frankly, these are only good ideas. I will take them for what they are and apply them where they fit. However, I haven’t even met my little ones yet. I don’t know their hearts and I don’t know what they’ll need. I will come to understand that quickly, yet slowly when I meet them.  

Those of you who do already know your little sweethearts already know what they need. You know what works for your family and what doesn’t. Sometimes a great idea is only an idea that seems to have great affects but in reality might squelch a better learning opportunity for you and your child.

So yes, seek out information, seek out ideas. Learn all you can to be the best you can. But don’t seek so many ideas that you break your own heart and confidence as a mother. You know what your family needs better than anyone else. Pray for guidance and inspiration. Try things out and bag them if they aren’t working for you.

Move forward and keep learning from the little ones that you are trying to teach. I can guarantee that you will be a better mommy by paying attention to them more than reading up on the latest and greatest ideas.

12 Things to Decide Before Getting Married

Before you get married and as a newlywed, everyone from your uncle to your classmate’s best friend will tease you about the easiness of marriage when you are a honeymooner. You’ll get newlywed jokes for the first few years, at least. These jokes may imply that the beginnings of marriage are easy, however to put it frankly, it’s not. It’s wonderful, believe me. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But it’s not always rainbows and sunshine. Making two lives into one was never easy.

However I’m a big believer in making decisions about your life, especially about your marriage, in advance. Deciding on the important things with your spouse before you tie the knot will make your transition a little less painful when the heat is on and a lot more stress free when it really counts.

Plan a date night (or multiple) and discuss the following topics with your sweetheart:

12 Things to decide on as a couple before you get married

1. Life goals, individually and as a couple.
2. Old and new traditions.
3. What kind of media you will have in your home (movies, video games, music, etc.)
4. How you will spend holidays.
5. How you will budget and manage your money together.
6. What you will value spiritually as a family.
7. The significance and role of intimacy in your marriage.
8. Standards for cleanliness in the home.
9. Goals for how you will resolve conflict.
10. Educational aspirations.
11. Career aspirations for each spouse.
12. How the children will be reared.

Comment below and tell me what else you think a couple should discuss before marriage!